I hate your face
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
