Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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