In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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