I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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