somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize