Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
This is the high leading the old right now
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
