I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
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