So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
