i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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