she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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