I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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