All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
