Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
