Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize