i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Randomize
