i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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