After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
