just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Randomize