So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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