I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
