Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize