so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
All the doctor said was why
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
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