Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
