WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
