Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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