you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
