And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize