That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
