Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
