I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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