This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
