I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
