i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
