STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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