I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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