I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
