and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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