Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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