Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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