hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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