We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
