i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
how drunk are you?
Several
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize
