If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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