the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
