How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize