You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
