Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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