similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
You made out with two different species that night
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
my poor anus
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
