Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
