Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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