What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Your penis caused this!
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