the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize