I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
