And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
