smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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