I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
