So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
