Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Im part way to drunk.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Randomize
