Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize