I want to make a zoo with you.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
