2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Randomize
