Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
