I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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