Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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