I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
