you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize