everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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