So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
