Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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