Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
