Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
